Dazed and Confused

So my doctor has me an all these new medications and oh man are they knocking me around. I was so fuck tired today, all day. I had a supreme chance to write a comic for this blog. SOMETHING AMAZING, AND FUNNY AND WITTY. However all day I lacked the cognitive skills to do anything worthwhile. Instead I just sat here drawing "pretty" pictures. OOOO pretty pictures oooo hehehe hahaha. It's so prettyyy. durrrr. So yeah that was me all day, it was either that or basically passed out. So, I decided to post my picture anyway so there's not just some empty wasted space consisting of me telling you how retarded and tired I am.

 

yes it's a Bloodelf, no I don't know who. It's just some random chick in non-existent armor because I wanted to draw pretty things. I'm not done with it yet, actually I don't even know if I'll finish it. AH, SHIT I GOTTA GO HOME AND GO TO BED. I LOVE YOU GUYS, PEACE OUT.

Steampunk's Not Dead: Steampunk Clothie

Steampunk? Cloth? How will that ever work! you say. Well I have the solution for you! Kinda. Okay look so I just woke up and my language skills are still in the gutter. bdbfkjdfkjf. OKAY anyway, I've made a version of the steampunk look for cloth wearers. :) Again I used an addon called Mogit to put this together.

I really enjoyed this one. I think the eyepatch/spectacle really makes it pop. It was also interesting sifting through so much cloth. Much of it is bright and flashy colors. I managed to find some old tattered grunginess in there though and carefully matched them up. What you're going to need for this set is:

Head- Powerheal 4000 Lens (engineering)

Chest- Duskwoven Tunic

Legs- Humbert's Pants

Hands- Durable Gloves

Feet- Iceflow Footwraps (quest)

Waist- Windchaser Cinch

Back- Durable Cape (not shown, sorry bout that...it's brown.)

Staff- Jailers Baton

Now you're lookin sexy! :D

Transmog: The Steam Punk Hunter

Ever since I heard about undead being able to become hunters, I KNEW deep in my heart that I wanted him to be steam punk. Even before the transmog feature was around, I told myself I would somehow make him as steam punk as possible! Now with such a new feature, it's easier than ever. 

I used an addon called Mogit to put together my perfect ensemble. 

and here are the items needed for this look :)

Head- Truesight Ice Blinders  (engineering only)

Shoulders- Sparkleshell Shoulder Pads 

Chest- Mail Combat Armor 

Pants- Mighty Chain Pants (sold from an npc)

Feet- Myrmidon's Greaves

Hands- Imbued Infantry Gauntlets

Wrist- This doesn't matter, you wont be able to see it anyway

Polearm- Grizzly Glaive 

Cloak- Sandstorm Cloak

Belt- Telaari Hunting Girdle

Gun- Use whatever you think looks good as a gun, I suggest something bronze and of course steam punk looking, you just GOTTA have a gun though. Steam punk & a bow? HA, Sissy pants bullshit, you need to shoot people in the FACE because you're fucking awesome.

The gun I think would go most wonderfully with this set would be Giant's Bane

It's perfect, the blue lights tie in with the goggles, it's bronze and metal, the thing has STEAM coming out of it for god's sake. However this gun can only be obtained in ulduar 25 so you're going to need some friends to help you farm it. Until then many other guns are also bronze and work just as well.

BEWARE!

While making this set I ran into some problems. I'm still farming it myself and when I had first made it, it looked like this: 

Note the different shoulders, and alternate goggles. I really really liked those goggles. Unfortunately the recipie for these goggles can ONLY be learned by shamans. It also binds to you when made, so they are untradable. If you ARE a shaman engineer and would like to use these goggles instead, they are called Lightning Etched Specs. Be wary of the goggles you can make as an engineer. You can only learn goggle schematics that you can use for your class from the trainer. And I found that out when I saw I hadn't learned the bronze shaman goggles, but the purple hunter goggles instead. Fortunately for me, I had bronze goggles waiting for my class at the higher level, however the lenses weren't yellow, they were blue. Good enough!

The shoulders here are pvp shoulders called Defiller's Chain Pauldrons. I only switched those because I thought the other shoulders looked a bit nicer. If you like these better they are easy to get!

Good thing is, most of these items are greens, some are even sold from NPCs, but sadly there are a few in here that have a very low drop rate. 

p.s. Mohawks help.

Hunter Bonus Round!

As a hunter, you can't be completely stylish unless you also have a stylish pet.

I've looked over a few of the pets available and have chosen my favorite matching pets to go with this set. (though I'm a bit pissed there's really no mechanical pets which would be PERFECT, AUGH.)

My personal favorite is the Beige Moth. Steam punk has that old world charm with the hardcore factor mingling in. Moths also remind me of this. They are charming, like butterflies, but the live in the night, also I can't help but think of Buffalo Bill from silence of the lambs, so plus 1 to the moth for matching perfectly and having that charming but fucked up factor.

Second runner up would be the Red Bone Spider this spider matches wonderfully with this set, the light cream color speckled in bronzy brown just works, along with the glowing blue eyes to match your spectacles. Bonus points for being undead as you'll also have that underlying creepiness factor.

Third is the Yellow Hyena When I think of Steam Punk, I think of some futuristic gang taking over some half forgotten city, like the pirates or cowboys of the future. Then I think of the crazy pets they'd have. Dogs are to tame, no, they need something way more bad-ass. How about a vicious hyena? YES. There are gangs around the world who use them currently, and man is it intimidating. If only they had a chain muzzle or something. Needless to say, the hyena would be a sweet pet for a futuristic pirate.

Fourth is the Copper Wasp the copper color matches wonderfully, it almost makes it look mechanical. The wings match wonderfully as well if you have the same goggles with the blue lenses. 

Coming in fifth is the Brown Rhino I just think this burly ass giant would look so cool standing behind you. Like some sort of tamed weapon to destroy all your enemies. I think this animal goes pretty well.

That's all for now folks! 

Class Drinks: Warlock

This week I've decided to do Warlock drinks as a request from Ruby Lupine. :)

PREPARE FOR EVIL!

You're gonna be like:

Class Drinks: Death Knight

This week I've decided to do Death Knights! Priests was on the agenda, but I did this for a friend. Pick your class and spec and lets get blitzed. :D (Edit: ARGHHH I just realized I made a typo in the DK one. Oh well I'll fix it one day.)

Last Class and drink post was: MAGES!

Next week: WHO KNOWS. 

Druid Worgen Shit

So, I started an alliance character. She is now my only character over on that side. I played alliance before, but I never made it past level 20. My first wow character was alliance actually, because my brother played on alliance, deep down I really wanted to be Horde, but whatever. This is what kept me from playing for about 3 more years afterward. I wanted to try it since I heard of the game, probably a while before BC came out, but I hesitated because people were saying its addictive and I have a very addictive personality * takes a drag of a cigarette and a swig of booze* so it was like, "I don't need this kind of crap right now, I'd end up like one of those people that sit there for so long they die from not showering, pissing themselves and not eating." Then I finally tried when my brother asked me to join him, HOWEVER he is not the most reliable person or the best guide, and I, having NO IDEA what the hell I was doing became increasingly frustrated.

I was a Nightelf rogue and in the starting area I was doing fine, then for some reason, he wanted to take me to Ironforge. He brought his 70 Nightelf hunter over to the starting area to lead me there, and I just followed him. I must have died at least 20 times on the way, and at that point graveyards were not everywhere so running back all those times was a bitch and a half. So anyway, I think about halfway there he is just like "OH I GOTTA GO, BYE" and logs. I'm standing in the middle of bum-fucked Egypt surrounded by 20+ mobs, I don't know how to do anything, go anywhere and I keep dying. At this point I'm just like "ALRIGHT, FUCK THIS GAME, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED BUT I HATED ALL OF IT." and it would be another 3 or so years until I tried the game again. This time around I had someone reliable to show me how to do things around Azeroth. I slowly began to see why so many people loved it, and I got to be Horde! yay! I never looked back. 

So, to this day I have never experienced Alliance side. I kind of feel bad because I'm basically missing half of the game. All my friends are Horde-side though, so I always hesitated making an alliance character. Finally, in an insomnia-induced delirium I decided to make an Alliance character a few days ago. I made her a Worgen druid because I've never played a druid, and out of all the Alliance races, Worgen are the most appealing to me. Humans, Gnomes, Elves and Dwarves all bore me. Draenai are alright, but I am actually 40% furry. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME. Besides I'm not the creepy, sexual pervert kind, I just enjoy drawing humaniod animals, they're fun! back to the point - ever since Worgens came out I really wanted one. Here's my beautiful Charmaine:

I really like the catform models for the Worgen, DEM PURP EYES. I was having a lot of fun playing a druid too, it was new and refreshing. I have to say this though. When it comes to Worgen females, my god, what did they do to their FACE? It looks like they had one too many face lifts and are TRYING so desperately to smile but instead just straining and showing their teeth. I wish they looked more wolf-like instead of a busty model that had sex with a chihuahua, resulting in deformed hybrid monster babies. 

I mean her face is all like: 

Another thing I noticed, is the Alliance areas are SO NICE and fantasy-like and pretty compared to the Horde. I was running around Stormwind like "WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THIS?! THERE'S SOMETHING GOING WRONG! WHAT'S THIS?! THERE'S PEOPLE SINGING SONGS! WHAT'S THIS! THE STREETS ARE LINED WITH LITTLE PEOPLE LAUGHING(gnomes?) EVERY BODY SEEMS SO HAPPY..." etc. etc. It felt nice to see some god damn green though instead of an endless sea of brownish yellow. No wonder the Horde are so pissed off all the time. To show what I mean I've drawn this completely accurate diagram of how it was for Dreamy today, and then how it was for Charmaine. 

WHAT THE HELL MAN? THEY GOT COWS AND SQUIRRELS THERE....AND I SWEAR TO GOD I SAW A BUTTERFLY. This is bullshit, we got dead raptors stinking up the desert and a bunch of scorpions pinching our asses. Okay...okay, I'm over it.  I have to say the scenery change is nice though. I guess Horde are just more badass like that...yeah, that's why. 

On another note, I'm happy for our guild because last night we ran a full run of ICC 10 heroic and got all the achievements for glory of the Icecrown raider (10) except 1, which we're going back for next week so we can all get our new mounts! I know, you're saying " Who cares? I did that shit 3 years ago." Well fuck you because I have a small ass guild and we take what we can get. 

I love you guys :) Guildies and friends of Rollin with Bob Saget. Shout out to the friends in other guilds 

UP IN SMOKE & Ex Inferius

See you guys again real soon! 

P.s. about those Class drinks - I will be doing DK's this week for a friend and will have it up a bit later this week so stay tuned.

The Terrible Huntard Guide

This week I have another guest post for a friend and fellow guildie, the illustrious British. He's a drunken British bastard and our guilds human sacrifice in any dungeon and raid. AND NOW...British. 

Howdy do honkies? Today The British will tell you how to PvE and PvP as a huntard. Make sure you have plenty of drinks.. And I don't mean in-game.. I mean get you a big damn bottle of whiskey, and maybe some sort of sugary energy drink. Maybe an Amp. Or make your own. Out of gasoline and Splenda packets. Hell, Kerosene is fuel and and Red Bull is fuel, so therefore Kerosene is Redbull.

Anyways get your PvP gear or RP gear.. Fuck I roll around in a kilt as a Huntard, Or a dress, whatever it is, my little blood elf hunter looks like a whore and it's awesome. Means those Gnome fucks target you, but as a huntard, you don't give a fuck, send your pet in, dance around, fire off some arcane shots or something, take some shots of whiskey, or snort some coke.. Either way, there's not much any class can do about you shooting them in the face ‘til it's all demented and what not, hell I aimed shot the tentacles on a Draenei sometimes I even run up and smack some sweet Draenei booty.

A quick guide on how to flag run in a Warsong or that new one, forget what it's call, who care. Simply pick up the flag, turn around to face the allies chasing you and disengage all the way back to the horde base, or you can always use aspect of the cheetah and RUN FASTER, but that only works if you're screaming something about salt fucking or slugs raping your children.

How to PvE as a huntard? It's pretty much the same thing as PvPing, except you ALWAYS ALWAYS misdirect to the healer, That will show them who not to fuck with and make sure they keep you alive, or maybe that wipes groups, who knows. As long as I'm the one running around and drinking all that delicious limey tea, who gives a shit.

One last thing, if you have the rainbow trinket on your huntard..Always use it, it triples your dps. Plus it makes you look fucking FABULOUS, oh and use Camouflage, or as I call it Ghost Mode. There's actually a story about ghost Mode, wanna hear it? Don't give a shit, here goes; basically my old house was haunted and the basement room was the scariest room in the whole house even for grown ups. I had a dream once that a knife killer in a tuxedo was hiding down in the basement and I can't go down there anymore unless I'm in Ghost mode, There was a lot of fun stuff to do down there in Ghost mode, like throw chairs at the concrete wall, lift cinderblocks read an old article about Marilyn Monroe, that dirty bitch. If you see a ghost or think somebody might be creeping down there in ghost mode, don't worry, you can't see ghost mode people and they can only touch you if you want them to touch you erotically. Anyways, fuck this typing shit, time to drink tea and think I'm better at huntarding than the next tard.

Drunk Pally Healing

The Drunken Holy Paladin & Drink Recommendations

Inspired by Boulderface's shaman guide, along with booze, I've decided to write a holy paladin drunken healing guide. Well, maybe not a guide as much as a bunch of tips. I often heal drunk and while some argue this can be detrimental, I like to believe it differs from person to person. You have to get that fine balance of booze and energy drink to be truly glorious at healing. Light beams will shoot out of your tits and into your allies with the majesty and skill you have always dreamed of.

First of all, make sure you have healbot because fuck everything else. You need those big green buttons so you can see shit even when your vision is blurry. Those big buttons also make it easy to aim your mouse, you have a large target area with those buttons so you should be able to hit it and heal it in time even if you're falling out of your chair. Put all your trinkets on there and make your big, main heals simple clicks so even when you're trashed you just click on some DK's name who's almost dead and BOOM you're all good. 

PvE is easy, just click the buttons if you see the green turning any other color than green. Cleanse for purple, dark green, blue..fuck it, try it on any color the bar turns if health is full. Heal if the bar starts chipping away. Just put beacon on the tank because you really don't want to give a shit about all that  beacon switching piss when you're drunk, trust me, it doesn't matter. If you have any DK's in your group, keep an eye on those fuckers because they ARE going to pull aggro and almost die at least 15-20 times throughout the dungeon, don't even play, you know it's true, girl.

If you're healing in PvP just avoid hunters. Just run away from them, if you can /cry while running if they see you, they will feel bad and leave you alone, especially if you're a sexy female Bloodelf, because no one likes to see a woman cry....well, maybe some do, but fuck them they are assholes. If you're a Tauren this probably wont work because your /cry emotes are terrible and impossible to feel pity for. Dwarves also have no hope with this strategy, sorry. Humans, I don't know what to tell you, you're a bit derpy looking but some people might find it cute. Draenei are pretty sexy, but only if you're female. You guys might have as much power if not more than Bloodelves. Holy pallies, if you run into a druid in bear form, just run in circles around him while slapping that big bear ass and spamming holy shock and word of glory. This will probably go on for hours, until someone intervenes which probably won't happen, especially if you're in warsong gulch. If you run into a mage you might as well go take a piss while they kill you. If you're being focused by a frost mage you have a 99.5% mortality rate. The 5% of hope is if someone decides to help you, but you'll probably both die anyway in the end.

If you're drinking whiskey, avoid playing any healing class. Whiskey is for aggressive dps folks, your balls will be so big after a few shots you could never sit in the background healing. My buzz ran out so I'm done talking about this shit.

Shamaning - Guest Post from Boulderface

Today I have another guest post for you from my fellow guildie - The drunken Orc shaman Boulderface. He's come to us today with an introduction to the shaman class as well as a few useful tips, so listen because this shit is important. HYAH. AND NOW, BOULDERFACE.

Hello out there in Warcraft Land. This is Boulderface, senior member of Rollin With Bob Saget of Earthen Ring. Dreamy's gone and ran out of Amp, so it's up to everyone's favorite Shaman to hold down the fort, so the poor lass doesn't run out of content.

Today, I'm gonna talk about how awesome being a Shaman is as an introduction! So let's get down the the basics. Shamans have three specs. Only Resto ever gets any love, because people will yank on a healer's dick all day long. Screw that. We need ULTIMATE POWAH, so we roll with a Enhancement spec for pvp. Why? Because swinging weapons will beat slinging spells for that bloodthirst factor, every time. As a Hybird class, a shaman only excels at causing rectal bleeding in other classes. However, we can keep ourselves alive, damage the enemy and offheal in any spec to a certain degree (but why bother? You'll get no thanks later). As Enhancement, we have a few key abilities.

First on the list is waterbreathing. Spam this on your local paladin while pointing and laughing. Next up is Frostshock. As we all know, 2 Frostshocks will pretty much knock any Paladerp right on their ass, or at the very least, leave them slowly running to you like some kinda fat kid running for the bus. Finally, the last skill is fishing. You'll be smacking so much Draenei booty that you'll no longer be welcome in any neutral town so you might as well go fish for your meals. Let me get this out of the way now: I live to smite gnomes.

I took this sweet screen shot of me pounding gnome babies into the ground outside of whateverthehell city. Earthen Ring doesn't have a world pvp scene outside of one single gnome rogue, so I don't bother. TO THE BATTLEGROUNDS! Tips for Battlegrounding as a Shaman include wearing no clothes so as to intimidate your enemies and healing yourself while spinning in circles.

This glass is empty and I haven't found any secret whiskey while typing, so we're gonna call it a day. Tune in next time to see more of Dreamy's drunken rants about ponies and sonuck the hedgehog. Maybe I'll come back to tell you all why rogues are awful children who stunlock your dick off for shits and giggles. Til then, fuck it I'm drunk.

Fin.

*Dreamy's Disclaimer: He told me to put a disclaimer about the Alliance hatred in this post but he didn't say about what exactly. Maybe he wanted me to say it's not serious for the sake of my Alliance readers (Who I'm sorry to, cause I'm sure you guys are totally cool people and all that and I am glad you read my blog even though it is definitely Horde-biased, and I don't know if I can redeem myself in anyway for this but I'm just gonna throw out there that I think Worgen are cool and I wish I had one but I'm so lazy and I don't feel like leveling one). BUT ANYWAY I'm pretty sure he lives to hate gnomes for real. I mean, this one time I made him a gnome deck with wow TCG just because I knew he'd hate it so much he'd piss all over it and burst into flames. However, I don't give a shit so this was entirely pointless. I hate Draenei.